There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
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I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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