just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
