Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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