waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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