textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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