He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
