when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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