So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize