East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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