Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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