i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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