WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
