Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
