if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
