some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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