so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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