Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
