She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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