Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
