just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
