Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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