And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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