were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
