omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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