quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
