we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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