god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
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he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
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Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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