That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
