OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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