Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
