Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
