"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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