i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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