Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
