Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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