i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
