Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's blow job season.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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