Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
