we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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