Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
