i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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