You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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