I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
