i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I have fence marks all over my body
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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