i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
