You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
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Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
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yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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