Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
