my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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