I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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