I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
