heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
