I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
