Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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