the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
