Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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