You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
