WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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