Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
