I just pynch a tree in the face
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
