I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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