eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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