This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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