Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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