i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
